1. In most cases, as Vice Chancellor of a public university, you will act as the Commandant of the university’s reserve officer training unit (ROTU), or PALAPES. I was commissioned as Honorary Colonel, and had the privilege of donning military colours, which was fantastic. Growing up, my Abah had me read a book called weapons and weaponry to improve my English. I decided to become an engineer when I found out about Skunkworks and the SR-71 spy plane.  
2. I witnessed up close what our students went through during their gruelling ROTU trainings. They have to study military tactics, and present their findings, in English. Some struggled but kept at it. There was absolute unity in the face of adversity. They were tired to their bones, and you can see it in their eyes. But you can find resolve and determination too, if you look deeper.  

I am exceedingly proud of each one of them, and their officers from USM and the military. 

3. I found out that ROTU officers showed a slight advantage over their peers when it comes to graduate employability. Perhaps it is in the way they carried themselves, and the discipline on display. Naturally, as the Commandant, I was keen to make sure that all ROTU places are filled annually, especially by B40 students.
4. I was horrified when I was informed that there was no issue with the number of applicants, but we had to reject more than 50% of them. The reason being most of the applicants were deemed medically unfit. To be more precise, their spines are bent in a certain way that intense physical trainings risk avoidable injuries.  

My mind was flooded with questions when I learnt this. 
Is this due to years of malnutrition and lugging heavy school bags? 
Was there any empirical evidence pointing to such conclusions?  
Has someone researched this?  
Is this unique to USM, or did other universities see similar patterns?
When we speak of vicious cycles, is this one of them? 
The deprived being further deprived. 

Poor kids. 

5. I then went to the university clinic, Pusat Sejahtera, and enquired whether our doctors noticed an increasing number of children of our staff displaying signs of malnutrition and stunting. The answer was a resounding yes, particularly kids from B40 and M40 families. I remembered the lump in my throat as I sat in my car thinking how we missed this. The University’s mission is to address the fate of the bottom billions, the poorest of poor, and yet right here on our doorstep, our own staff are possibly raising malnourished kids. It is an irony that struck me hard. Very hard.  
6. I spoke about USM’s special budget in one of my previous articles. We divided spending into four large categories – internal programs, fundamental issues, progressive projects, and investment in advanced technologies and facilities.  

We quickly set aside a few hundred thousand Ringgit for a milk programme under the internal program initiative. We managed to issue two dozen 200ml cartons to 2,500 families, a quarter of USM’s total staff. We had a symbolic event where we handed the cartons to representative families. I broke down during my speech. I can only muster these words repeatedly: Tak cukup. Not enough. Those present did not know how to react other than stare at the floor. It was a very sobering event and I left while nursing my pain.

7. I wish that we were wealthy enough to continue this initiative for a few foreseeable years and that we can give more – milk and probably other supplements like fish oil.  
8. A few months earlier, at the peak of Covid-19, we had a town hall to discuss how to respond to the threat. I suggested fundraising via voluntary salary deductions for three months. We collected RM1.5mil in that three months, which was beyond anyone’s wildest imagination. We were astounded by the generosity and trust. This was USM at her best. 

It did not stop there. 

9. We found out that the largest contributions came from our B40 and M40 staff. They wanted to do their part. They could not contribute much. Some could muster RM10 every month. Others RM50. 

These are the very staff who would seldom include milk, and supplements, in their monthly shopping list. They simply could not afford these. They were the very staff who on the day of the small milk handing event, nodded and thanked the university repeatedly. You can see the happiness in their eyes. For two dozen 200ml milk cartons.  

This was why I broke down.

10. We received reports that the kids love them. Some parents had to hide those milk cartons for fear that their kids would finish them in one sitting.  
    You listen to these, and you do not know whether to be happy or sad.  
    Sad because this was hardly enough. There was a sense of helplessness and withdrawal akin to a parent attending to a sick child. You wish you could swap places with your child and carry the burden instead.
11. In many circles, the debate about University rankings, publication versus impact, rages on. It is difficult to measure impact and I personally believe impact is a natural outcome of consistently producing good, honest work. One can excel in publications or securing grants as an early-stage academic, and over the years, mature and shift gears towards lasting impact and meaning. Whatever the plan is, we should never overlook the fact that as an academic, it is the University that enabled us to make a name for ourselves. The University is the asbab, the vehicle. 

And universities comprise academic, administrators, supporting staff, and students.  

Perhaps in our intent in making the world a better place, we should start with those close to home. Our colleagues. And their families. And our students. This is a significant part of USM’s APEX aspirations.

Perhaps impact should be felt first within the university walls.  
Perhaps impact results from the dew of little things.  

I still worry about those kids.  
The ones belonging to our staff. 
The students who were unable to join ROTU. 
The kids I see heading to school every morning, lugging heavy bags. 

I hope things improve for our Tanahair. 

And I hope we do not have to continue turning students away from ROTU.