By Bakri Baharom @ Koboi Tunjang

How do you know you are getting old? The following are some possible tell-tale signs of reaching your golden age. You may be experiencing one, two or any number of these trials and tribulations – to test your strength and fortitude as some would like us to believe.
 
You no longer enjoy big crowds like at night market or shopping complexes. The noise, blaring loud music, and the hustle and bustle of other people’s activities really put you off. You would start giving excuses to your spouse and children for not joining them umpteenth times. The elevators, escalators, multi-storey parking and the concrete jungle itself give the feeling of being trapped, so-called agoraphobia.
 
You are half awake on your barber’s chair. When the haircut is done, you wonder why the charge is only half the normal price. The barber pointed to the price list on the wall. At the bottom, it is written: Half price for senior citizens. You nod silently. After all, there is not much hair to cut anyway.
 
Should you buy a train ticket, the lady at the counter politely reminds you that you are entitled to a discount. At the bank, the helpers would always offer you a seat. Or, some good samaritans would give up their seats for you. So are many other places. With such frequent prompts, you are well aware that you are no longer young.
 
Once upon a time, Rock or Metal was your kind of music genre. You belonged to the era of Deep Purple, Scorpions, Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin. Ritchie Blackmore (Rainbow) and David Coverdale (Whitesnake) were your idols. You still like them but the slower numbers such as Soldier of Fortune or The Temple of the King. Now, Kenny Rogers with his love songs is back to hit your chord, particularly Islands in the Stream and Lady. It means you have mellowed down as age has caught up. It is a natural cycle. No fear, no dread.
 
You used to spring out of bed immediately. You look forward to accomplishing a long list of tasks for the day – board meetings, new ventures, collaborations and partnerships, and golf with big account clients. No place seemed far to you; London, Paris, New York, Sydney or Bangkok. No time is too late for you; 6pm, 11pm or 3am. You suffered jet lag too but recovered fast. You are in the fast lane. No time and opportunity to lose. Now, you are contemplating for reasons to wake up in the morning. The arthritis tablets you swallowed last night seemed not working anymore.
 
You are now driving on the left-most lane on the highway. You wonder why some resorted to using the emergency lane, forgetting you have been doing the same in the past. You don’t realise your car is holding down the others on the country road. The queue started to get longer behind you. One who managed to overtake you, turned his face to express his displeasure. Suddenly, you realise your speedometer reads 50 km/hr. You let pony-size locally made cars and cranky old sedans overtake your German marques. The zig-zagging drive is no more your style. You start to find it difficult to drive at night or in heavy rain too. The headlight from incoming cars blinded your sight. It means only one thing, you are really getting old.
 
Your doctor is not on your side too. From time to time, he would remind you to go easy on your favourites; prawns, crabs and a list of sea foods. He include red meat as well. Automatically, tom yam, beef steak/curry and a range of other dishes start to play in your mind. What does your doctor recommend? More vegetables, more fruits and more plain water. There goes your Teh-Tarik-Kaw. Before you exit the door, the doctor further reminded you: No fast food, no caffeine, no carbonated drink, to cut down on sugar, salt, edible oil and any preservatives. There goes your Fizzy Drinks, Roti Canai and Mee-Goreng-Mamak. OMG! As Koboi Tunjang’s mother used to complain, could we just get old minus all the pains?
 
You hardly switch on the TV anymore. The never-ending political squabbles, court cases, economic failure, skyrocketing cost of living, unemployment, human trafficking, stock market crash, bank closure, interest rate hike, earthquakes, conflicts between and within nations, famine, earth warming, forest fire…. hate crimes cannot help to make your day at all. Therefore, you decided to tune to TV OFF. The only real treat was the last World Cup when Morocco nearly made it to the final. You shouted like losing your head off. But, it will be another long wait for the next edition.
 
You started to reflect on many things. Now, what happen to our real printed newspaper? The font is so tiny that you need a magnifying glass. Everything goes online. What happened to the simple meet-up with friends, relatives and family members at your favourite ports? Yes, but everyone is on the phone, busily engaged with social media.
 
Strange enough, you are now a born-again radio enthusiast. The advantage of radio over TV is that you still could do your chores in or outside the house. It is better than indulging in never-ending drama of deceit, cheats, lies, greed and lust to name a few on your TV. Or, fantasy and make-belief films.
 
You are now in sync with retro radio stations. You feel at ease with the 60’s Pop Yeh Yeh; A.Rahman Hassan (Tak Mengapa), Jeffrydin (Mas Mona), S. Jibeng (Selamat Tinggal Pujaan), M. Osman (Suzana) and Kassim Selamat (La O Be). Practically, you are looking forward to Rafeah Buang (1948 – 2002, Disebut Jangan, Dikenang Jangan), Sanisah Huri (Semenjak Berjauhan, 1972) and Uji Rashid (Merpati,1983).
 
You started off strong and highly spirited on your mini farm; weeding and watering, applying fertiliser and fixing piping etc. After barely half an hour, you are already on a broken lazy chair or hammock taking a break. With eyes half-closed, your mind drifted with the sounds of merbuk singing in the trees and Papa Rock, Ramli Sarip and Khadijah Ibrahim doing a duet, Doa Buat Kekasih over your neighbour’s player.
 
Your mind goes back to your younger days. Then, there is a change of plan, why don’t you just take it easy today? It does not matter what day it is today, no hurry, let’s take a deserving nap. The next moment, it is almost 10am. The sun gets stronger. The doctor reminded you that the particular hour of Vitamin D is not so good. Let’s call it a day, take a shower, have some meals and do another round of mid-day naps in the house. Welcome back to your baby days!
 
As you get older, you are interested to know about diseases. In the younger days, only occasional fever, headache and cough bothered you. Sometimes you catch a cold for one or two days. No sweat.
 
You start off with human anatomy, from head to toe, anything could go wrong even if you discount freak accidents. Consider the first major one, the heart. The term Vascular refers to your body’s network of blood system which includes Arteries and Veins. The Arteries carry oxygen-rich blood from your heart to other organs, including the heart itself. The special artery that supplies to your heart is referred to as Coronary Artery. The Veins carry waste products back to your heart.
 
Heart Attack is caused by partial or totally blocked blood vessels due to the build-up of mainly fat and cholesterol. If blood does not reach your brain, then you suffer a stroke or Brain Attack. It could also happen if your blood vessel burst. The brain is damaged and may cause death. Hence, if your vessel is blocked, the blood pressure goes up (Hypertension), resulting in the brain lacking oxygen which triggers Stroke. Well, it is time for Koboi Tunjang to take a nap.
 
You used to be very talkative. With your strings of paper qualifications, long working experience, extensive travelling, wide exposure and avid reader, you are an authority on many subjects. You are in a way, a consultant, both paid and unpaid. As you age, you become more reserved, you let the world goes by as the Beetle’s number, Let It Be. At times you become more philosophical too. You reflect on the time when you had no money but a good appetite. Now, it is the reverse. Finally, as Kenny Rogers suggested in his song, The Gambler (1978), “And the best you can hope for is to die in your sleep”. But, not before getting old gracefully.

A 1979 photo with great-grandfather, Kassim. The old man passed on two years later. Koboi Tunjang was honoured to be one of the pallbearers. He was buried at Air Hitam (Kedah) mosque cemetery. His elder brother also turned up to pay his last respect. Kassim’s death certificate stated: Natural death due to old age. Age: 104.